For Meghan, You Were Wonderfully Made

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I have sat here for a very long time, wondering what I should type.  What could I say to even do justice to really truly describe the amazing woman who was our friend, Meghan.  Sometimes when things happen like this, words seem empty or even scarce.  I have thought about Meghan and her family a lot this weekend as I know many of you have as well.  We all loved her.  She was a friend, an inspiration, a mother, wife, daughter, sister, sister-in-law, a Breast Cancer Warrior, amazing writer, a giver, a Red Phoenix Rising.  So I decided to write a tribute blog post to her.  My blog is all about Living Wonderfully Made, and boy did Meghan emulate that.  So, here it is…..

Meghan, Red Phoenix,

There is no one way to describe you, but there are many instances that describe who you were to so many people.  Over the past two years I have watched a woman who fought with everything she had not only to fight against cancer, but to bring more kindness into the world.  See, Meghan, that is who you were…. You were kindness.  Your infectious smile and your beautifully written words to describe some of the hardest things to have to write about was nothing short of talent.  Your beautiful little boy is an example of the love you and your husband had together and he I know will not only grow to be a strong man one day, but also will grow to continue on your legacy of kindness, because, you instilled that in him.  Your love for people was apparent in the continued stories that we all read of how you impacted so many.  

As I close my eyes to picture you in my mind, I think about the times we spent playing softball, little girls just wanting to have fun, get dirty, and play!  Over the years we all grew up, moved on, and started our families.  Your friendships to those closest to you remained strong as you always knew how to make your friends feel special.  I know this only because it is so apparent in how they talk about you.  You were special to them Meghan, you were their treasured friend.  Your family, now, this is where I get emotional, because oh Meghan, you were so special to them.  The “Brown Sister’s”  wow what a Foursome you all are.  Each of you so unique, kind, special, and absolutely BEAUTIFUL in your own unique ways.  I loved seeing your times together.  A special bond of four amazing sisters that death can never take away.  

Meghan you left us with a gift.  Your presence on this Earth, even though we all feel it ended way too soon, your presence was a gift.  Your continued crusade for spreading kindness and love is a gift that we all treasure.  You have impacted so many and it will never be forgotten.  

On sandy shores in Heaven, I am picturing you walking next to Jesus holding His hand and talking with Him about kindness and love.  Meghan I know you are not here on Earth, but in Heaven you will be waiting for the ones that miss you so dearly here.  A Red Phoenix Rising up above the clouds and flying towards a warm sunshine in the distance.  You were a true example of what it means to LIVE Wonderfully Made, because Meghan, you were oh so wonderful! 

 

If you all would like to read more about Meghan’s Journey about who she was and read her blog I please URGE you to click on this link to read more about her and GIVE.  Her family will need our support for the future.  Let’s all continue Meghan’s legacy of kindness and love by giving to her family.  You can click on the link below to do so.

“I Am Red Phoenix” Blog and Link to Give:(Copy & Paste Link)

http://www.iamredphoenix.com/give

 

 

My God Love Story: Love Letter to God

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This is week 2 of my study with Proverbs 31 Ministries online book/bible study of “Am I Messing Up My Kids?”  I am really enjoying what this book and the study is bringing to my life.  Most of all I love reading the blogs and comments other women share about their experiences! I am learning so much.  If you would like to join this study, visit, proverbs31.org and click on “online studies”!  Now, this weeks topic, “My God Love Story.”  I wrote a Love Letter to God. 

Papa God,

I am writing to you with a humble, open, and thankful heart.  Out of the darkness that was my life, you saved me.  My choices, my shame, my depression, my thoughts of ending it all, you saved me.  Before I knew of your true love for me, you were orchestrating my future, weaving in the right people to cross my path so that it would lead me back to you.  I stand in awe of the series of events you planned to bring me back to the relationship I once thought I knew, but wasn’t mature enough to embrace or understand.  Only when I was on the bottom ready to end it all did you reach down, scoop me up, and cradle me in your loving arms.  What joy, relief, and comfort I felt when I came crawling back.  My face and soul were bruised and dirtied by life.

When I was younger, I would pray to you out of fear not knowing that your love was unconditional and pure towards me.  I would try my hardest not to “mess up” during the day and spent my nights praying hard so that you would wake me up the next morning so I could try to be better the next day.  I know You remember those prayers and probably now You shake Your head along with me because I was so lost and naive to what Your love truly is!  I also know that you remember the pain of my adolescent years.  Teased and Taunted in middle school for being a Christian, I tried to share the story of You with others, but I was teased.  That was hard Papa God, and I ran away from it.  I sank into my eating disorder and depression.  I fell away from….You.

My early twenties proved to be harder, You watched it all.  I tried to find love in all the wrong places, which left me feeling empty and shamed.  Little did I know, better days were to come and blessings would be given, more than I could ever know or understand.  Papa God, the day I hit the bottom, wanting to end it all, I know You were crying with me.  My mother prayed so hard for me to come back to You.  I praise and thank you for making me reach out to her that day.  She brought me to the Church to talk to her Pastor and I recommitted my life to You that day.  Praise Your Holy and Wonderful name Papa!  Oh what Joy and Peace You brought!  Not only did You save me, but, You blessed me with gifts that I cherish with my whole heart and soul. You gave me love through You but also through my husband!  A meeting of this Love is the only kind You could have orchestrated.  Pure magic and a miracle all wrapped into one.  More and More blessings you bestowed and then the ultimate blessing…. My son.  Made from pure love You gave me the most precious gift I could ever ask for!  Papa God, You saved me, healed me, renewed me, and blessed me.  You continue to do so everyday.  I want to spend my days with my son telling and teaching him about You, Papa, and what Your love truly is!  My love for You is growing and I still sometimes don’t get why you love me so much, it is hard to wrap my mortal mind around it.  Papa, I love You.  Thank you for setting me free….

Love Always and Forever,

Carolyn Decker

“See, God has come to save me.  I will trust in Him and not be afraid.  The Lord God is my strength and my song; He has given me victory.”

-Isaiah 12:2

The Day after Wyatt was born.

The Day after Wyatt was born.

“Who We Are in Christ Series” # 4 We Are a Friend of Jesus

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I don’t know about anyone else, but I must say as a woman it is hard to make good, true, real & genuine friends.  I don’t mean the one’s you go out for coffee with every once in a while or your “friends” on Facebook.  I mean the one’s that when the going gets tough, they are there for you every step of the way! Even when the world is against you, they are there cheering for you.  I wish this wasn’t the case but in my many conversations with women, it is a common struggle that many have.  I have heard things like “well, she stabbed me in the back” or “I have so many past negative experiences, I don’t even bother anymore.”  Well this all may be true, but, have we forgotten our BFF Jesus?  You know, the one who died for our sins, bearing all pain for each and every one of us?  You are probably asking me, “What does this have to do with finding my identity?”  I am glad you asked…. It has EVERYTHING to do with our identity!!

The bible says in John 15:15, ” I no longer call you slaves, for a master doesn’t confide in his slaves; now you are my friends, proved by the fact that I have told you everything the father told me.”  Do you know what that means?  God is our confidant!  He wants us to talk to him… share EVERYTHING with him about what we think…..what we care about, and what we are sad or happy about.  I just love the fact that he not only wants purpose for our lives but he also wants to walk with us every step of the way.  This is what a friend does!  It is a reciprocal relationship that is give and take.  Pretty soon when you start to realize and connect more with Jesus, your identity will develop in him and your purpose will shine bright.  Another thing that will start to develop will be real and true friendships with people.  God will bring people into your life that are good for you and that will help you throughout life.

I have to say, for a really long time that I struggled with finding true meaningful friendships with women.  But overtime with continuous prayer, God brought me to some AMAZING women that have been with me through some really hard things in my life.  Do want to know what is even better?  I was able to be there for them as well, which feels really good when you can be a support to someone else.  That is what God wants us to do!  So, with continuous friendship with Jesus he will not only show you what true friendship is, but he will lead you to those who will support you along with him!

Be blessed!  Remember you are all Wonderfully Made!  Leave some comments and share your testimony!