One of the things that many people know about me is that I am pretty open and honest with the things I go through in life. I share my story and I share it only because I want desperately for those who need to hear it draw some strength for themselves by hearing it. My openness about my life is not always received well but I think of that as the enemy getting angry at the fact that God is using my pain to help someone else. If you aren’t met with resistance then, well, you aren’t doing it right. So today, I am sharing with you something that I have struggled with for the majority of my teen and adult life, Depression. It has been something that has come and gone and I have fought it and won in various seasons of my life. Over the past year with all the changes and new paths that my family and I have been on, it has decided to come along for the ride. It wasn’t until recently that I decided that I needed to seek some help for it. Yes, you heard that right. A Christian woman who loves the Lord is seeking help for depression. It is a very real thing that many people don’t understand and often feel like you just need to “get happy, count your blessings….etc” If it were that simple, trust me I would be jumping on that! I am not new to this road so I know exactly when it has crossed over to the path of no return and when I need a hand to pull myself out. So today I am taking that first step. I also decided to write a letter to Depression to put it on notice and declare war on it.
I am sharing this not for sympathy or attention because I don’t want or need it. I am sharing this because I want to help someone else who may need to crawl out of this darkness themselves. So please read, share, and tell others that you think may need to hear this. Thank you and remember to LIVE WONDERFULLY MADE!
I often don’t ever like to acknowledge you because I feel that gives you power, but I want you to know how I feel about you so you will no longer feel the need to stick around. You have plagued me for too long. Through most of my adult life you have felt the need to pop into my life during times of change or even times when I was trying to find my way in peace. You leach on and suck the life out of me, sometimes I can’t even think! I am so tired all the time, but yet you won’t let me sleep. You steal life, kill my spirit and drive wedges between the most important relationships in my life. You are nothing but a big black cloud that follows me around. I have fought you and cried about you over the years and quite frankly I am just sick of you! So I say, NO MORE! I am not going to fight you with tears, medication, or sleeping my life away. Nope, I am going to fight you with the most powerful things of all. The LOVE of Christ that resonates deep in me.
Yes, the power of prayer and the living God Himself will help me defeat you. I will be eliciting the help of counselors, friends, family, and my inner light. That light shines brighter than any darkness that you could bring. God has not given me a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7). I will laugh in your face and change those hopeless thoughts into a flood of hope and courage. I refuse to let circumstances define me or let you rule my mind. I am sure this will all take time but your days are numbered depression. Mark my words, you have NO power in my life. Life is too short and precious.
You see, I have a precious family. Yes, we go through hard times, but you know what, our LOVE is stronger and deeper than you could ever imagine. Lets just call it what you are, you are evil, you are the devil trying to steal, kill, and destroy me! You may think you have the power to do that, but my Savior came so that I may have life. My family has my back, my GOD has my back and most of all I AM stronger than you think. The strength that lies within me is often underestimated by you, but I have made it through a lot and I will continue to do so. I will never stop fighting. I know all your tricks. I have been dealing with you for a while. My God is bigger and smarter and honestly so am I! My heart, soul, and LOVE for my family is big, broad, and never-ending.
I will end this letter with this…. “It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he causes me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You make your saving help my shield; your help has made me great. You provide a broad path for my feet, so that my ankles do not give way. I pursued my enemies and crushed them; I did not turn back till they were destroyed. I crushed them completely, and they could not rise; they fell beneath my feet.” – 2 Samuel 22:33-39