It’s been a very long time since I have written on “Wonderfully Made.” It isn’t for the lack of wanting to, but I will say its because I was struggling with my relationship with Papa God. I feel like this is nothing new in the walk of a Christian, however, for me, it was surreal and scary. Questioning anything of my faith is something that I don’t like to admit to. I feel though that Papa God wants me to share my experience. A transition of heart can be overwhelming for anyone. In faith, it can be life changing. For me, my transition of heart was taking place as I grasped for a deeper understanding of who God really is. Talk about overwhelming! This past year and the beginning of 2014 has been clouded by sadness and loss but also of new beginnings. Loss of anything is hard but adding it on to my heart of questioning faith left me with a helpless feeling. Almost as if I were lost at sea. What I found is where there is loss there is always a new beginning waiting in Papa God’s palm.
My new beginning started on October 1, 2013. I found out there was a new life growing inside of me. I was overcome with joy and excitement! Of course though, with me, nothing ever comes easy. After finding out about my little one, months passed and I struggled with sickness that rendered me homebound, out of work, and at one point in the hospital. There I sank into a depression and even deeper questioning of the purpose! Through continued prayer and support of my loving husband, God found his way back into my heart and I found my way back to God. Papa God has been etching His presence into my life and brought me to a place of understanding of what is truly important. What is truly important is family and the basics.
I have come back to blogging after a year hiatus. I have come back with a new found appreciation and love for my Jesus. My perspective of life has changed as well as my purpose. I don’t know the full extent of God’s full plan for my future but I know one is being a mom. My future hangs in the balance of this concept. No longer is a career the full importance of my life. The important things are God, Family, and following HIS will for my life. I am still working on trust and I am still a bit fearful. Everyday though I take it one step at a time towards the future and my new beginnings.