“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.” John 14:1
Since I was 15 years old I have been on medication for my depression and anxiety. In July of 2010 I had gotten out of a difficult relationship and started having increasingly bad panic attacks and my depression was worsening. So I went back to my therapist and she put me on some stronger medication. For a long time now I have been on and off medication and for the first time recently I really feel I am ready to fully take myself off of them. Now, I am a strong advocate for using medications when needed and I do NOT want to send the message that medications are bad, because sometimes, in order to work through your pain or anxiety, medication allows you to remain focused. For many years taking medication has allowed me to work on some core issues behind my anxiety and depression. So by all means, do not decide to stop taking yours just because I am writing about this. Ok… I am off my soapbox now and have given the “disclaimer.”
For about 3 months now I have been in deep prayer about stopping my medication regime. There are many reasons why I want to stop, but mostly because I feel that I am ready. I went to my doctors a few days ago and discussed this with her and she feels with my progress that I am ready to take that step. With this all being said, I am doing this with some fear behind me. I have never fully trusted God in this area of my life. I have never allowed him to take control of this area and just take care of me. I always have relied on the assumption that this is something I will always have to be on. My doctor validated for me that this is not the case in my situation. I feel that was the last push I needed to finally make the decision to do so.
I was reading my Bible today and I came across John 14:1. Jesus is speaking and He is talking about how we need to put our full trust in God and in Him. Jesus also states that He will ALWAYS be with us. My heart melted when I read that today because I felt that God was just saying to me, “Carolyn, you need to trust me with this. I will not leave you, with Me, you will not fail.”
So in closing, I want to ask you all. What area of your struggles are you lacking trust in God? Are you afraid to not work on the core issues surrounding your depression? Are you ignoring his call to go to counseling? Whatever it may be, I want to urge you to pray to God about your fear and let him answer you about it. HE WILL answer you! I am learning to trust God with every aspect of my life and it is exciting. Are you willing to take that step as well?
Remember… YOU ARE WONDERFULLY MADE!!!!!!