“Come quickly, Lord, and answer me, for my depression deepens. Don’t turn away from me, or I will die.”
I know there was a time when I felt this way. I felt that if someone….anyone, didn’t answer my cries, I would just die. Depression can sink deep within you and hurt every area of your body. Depression actually can be the reason for body aches and insomnia amongst other things. Depression robs us of truly seeing what we do have in life. It sucks the very essence of life out of someone. What people fail to understand is that it is NOT a choice, it is an illness. Let me tell you my story.
Amongst the eating disorder that I battled, I also struggled with immense depression that would leave me wanting to sleep away the day and kept me up at night. The devil was very much present in my depression. Daily I would think of ways that I could just stop it all. Yes, you read that right. It wasn’t until one day that I actually was going to do it, that God intervened.
Everyday I would come home when I was in high school and my mom would be already gone for work. This specific day I actually planned that I was going to take some pills. I didn’t know what the outcome would be but I felt so powerless and hopeless that I just wanted to give up. When I got home from school I did my usual routine of binging on all the food I could which left me feeling worthless. I went into my room and was about to take the pills when suddenly I heard the Garage door open….. It was my mother coming home. I wasn’t expecting her. I was startled and dropped the sleeping pills all over the floor. Admist my depressed state of mind, I did not realize that my mom was actually off that day and was coming home from shopping. When I dropped those pills and saw them spill all over the floor…. I realized that my mother coming home was a sign from God. I don’t know what really happened that day to me, but what I realize now is that… God answered my cry.
I want anyone out there to know, that there is HELP for you! You do NOT have to struggle alone in your depression. There are many resources out there that can help you through it! If anyone is reading this and is struggling and thinking about ending it…. take it from me… YOU CAN GO ON!!!!! Take this as God answering your cry!! I have attached some resources to this post for anyone who is searching for answers and a way out. Just know that God loves you and there is a purpose for your life. Keep on fighting and recognize that depression is just the devil trying to bring you down. Don’t let him win!!
REMEMBER YOU ARE WONDERFULLY MADE!!!!!!!!