“Come quickly, Lord, and answer me, for my depression deepens. Don’t turn away from me, or I will die.”
Have you ever felt like that? I have many times. It is scary what depression can do to someone. As a Christian woman, I have a hard time with this certain reality of my life. I have struggled with depression for as long as I can remember. I guess I was “formally” diagnosed with it at age 15 when I was seeking treatment for my eating disorder. I have often thought that I should not be struggling with any type of depression, after all, God can heal me from it! I am sure many Christian women feel this way and maybe even feel a bit guilty. I know I have! Depression isn’t always “feeling sad,” it affects every part of your life. Depression can cause, feeling sleepy during the day, sleepless nights, aching body, insatiable appetite, no appetite, mood swings, lack of motivation, and the list goes on.
Recently I have been battling a bout of depression that has left me at times feeling hopeless. However, you know me, God always has to use me for an AHH HAAA moment! I was recently laying in bed one day trying to think of any reason to get up. After laying there thinking and thinking, I began to get angry. Not just your run of the mill angry, but REALLY ANGRY!!!! As I lay there I realized, I am letting the devil take control! The devil (aka. depression) is taking control of me!!! We all know that the devil is the creator of all things… HORRIBLE! It is his job to make us miserable and non productive. So I did what any Woman of God would do…. I started to pray. I suddenly felt led to make a list. This turned into the list of all lists…. God led me to make a “What Makes Me Happy List!” After I was finished, I had over 100 things written. It made me so happy that, I put down that my “What Makes Me Happy List” made me happy!
Ladies, my fellow sisters in Christ, I want to encourage you. You are NOT alone in this struggle. Please do not feel bad that you struggle with depression. It does not make you any less of a woman of God. Remember that God brings about purpose from pain. I encourage you to pray, he wants to know about your hurts. I also encourage you to make your own “What Makes Me Happy List.” You will be surprised what God reveals to you when you make this list! So… go crazy with it! Keep writing down ANYTHING! Don’t let the devil (aka. depression) take over your life and make you feel defeated.
Remember you are all… WONDERFULLY MADE!!!!